Dried Poppy Flowers

Remember Me?

Do you remember me? The young girl who thought that she was in love with you. Do you remember our game? We were the main heroes of the play that we had created ourselves. Years ago it was a reality for you, while i was just playing my role. A role that was fake and unreal, a role that was just a result of my childish imagination. I almost turned the play into reality and it seemed scary, cause it was not me. I felt like i was on a stage wearing a mask of someone else. It took me very long to finally understand that the author of the script of that play was you, while i was just a doll in that game. I don't know what was holding me but something didn't let me leave the play even after knowing my real role. We both wanted to go, but we both couldn't leave, couldn't find strength to escape or even just to run away from each other, run away from ourselves. We were the prisoners of our own play, of the drama that we had written ourselves. Now it's just a memory, that game is nothing more but past. And sometimes I just wonder if you still remember me.

© LiLit Ghazaryan

Please.... Don't...

Don't... Stop.. Don't come closer. It's fine, i'll be just fine...

I know, this is one of those times when I need a hug so bad, but right when you come closer and hug me I will start crying. I need to be strong, I need to be able to hold my tears back. Please, don't. Your sympathy will make me even weaker, your words will touch my heart and go deep inside my soul, your touch will make my tears run down my cheek. Instead of patronizing just get mad at me, yell at me so i will come back to realization. Slap me, if you need to, so i will stop thinking too much. But don't come closer, don't try to hug me, it will make my heart melt and i won't be strong enough anymore to stand on my own feet....

Please, don't ...

The Stranger

He was a stranger... I was sitting next to him and tears were running down. I was crying because i hadn't cried for a long while and there were many different reasons to cry. My soul and my heart were crying and I was crying with them. And the stranger next to me was silent, but that silence was so special and so important at that moment, it was full of warmth. That silence said more then thousands words could have said, it was replacing all the pointless phrases and encouraging words. Those couple seconds, full of tears and silence, brought peace to my heart. An I left... Who knows? maybe i will never see that stranger again, but i will always remember him and will always be thankful for his silence.

I will be thankful that he did nothing, but was silent...

How I Love and Hate those Airports!

Airport is the place where there are no fake smiles or tears, it's when people cry and laugh, say hello and good bye from the bottom of their hearts. It's the place where we meet, the place where we say farewell. That's the place where we realize how much we love and care, how much we cherish and need our loved ones.

How I Hate those Airports... Sitting in the car on the way to the airport to leave... That's when the words seem so pointless and empty, that's when the silence seems so uncomfortable and loud. The time goes so slow and yet so fast, that only seconds later you find yourself standing in the terminal, giving your good-bye hugs. One is leaving, while the other one is trying to hold back the tears. And by the time when you are left alone, walking to the plain, thoughts and emotions are so hard to control. A tear is running down your cheek while you are forcing yourself to smile. People are walking with you, people whom you have never met, but somehow they seem so familiar. Finally you get to your seat and minutes later you are high in the sky, but your thoughts are still there, in the airport. In your head you keep remembering every single detail of your last minutes spent there and it keeps going around your mind like a vision. You left...

It Hurts...

It hurts so bad when you look but just don't see.

When you hear me, but don't listen.

It hurts when you know me but don't understand me sometimes.

It hurts when you are near, and yet so far.

It hurts when you hurt me without even realizing. And sometimes there is so much left to say and all those words that stay unsaid make a huge wall between us, which keeps getting bigger and stronger.

It hurts that I love you, because I know that sometimes my love makes me forgive you everything you do. Because sometimes that love appears to be stronger then I am.

It hurts that you love me, because I know that no matter what you never mean to hurt me and that idea itself makes me forgive you again.

It hurts that I know all this, I know and can't get used to it.

I get angry, sometimes I cry, I get mad and yell, but after all I forgive again, but never forget.

I don't forget, but I don't remember either, because after all the only thing that stays is

Our Love.. And It Hurts... It hurts so bad...

We Lost March...

Another month is over, time is really running too fast....

We keep hurrying, trying not to miss anything. But as a result we miss all the important things around us. We missed the Spring, we missed the blossom of the trees, we missed those first flowers that needed our attention. We missed the warm sunlight that was struggling against the cold winter.
We missed the beginning of the Spring...

Instead of walking down the streets and admiring our city that woke up from the long winter sleep we were running from one place to another without even looking around us. And if we did look, then we didn't see, we didn't care enough to notice all the changes around us.

We didn't have time to stop near the flowers to feel their sweet scent, we didn't have time to stop and listen to the songs that birds were singing for us. We were too busy to notice the colourful butterflies, the raindrops on the leaves. We didn't have time to stop by the old tree, which was in blossom again after so many years.

...We lost it, we lost the first month of the Spring, we lost the beauty of the nature at this wonderful time of year, we lost the March...

When you keep hurrying from one place to another, take couple of seconds, stop, look and try to see, it might be gone tomorrow...

© LiLit Ghazaryan

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I used to hate Umbrellas...

I love Rain... and i hate Umbrellas...

I've always hated umbrellas. I don't like people walking with umbrellas in the streets. It feels like they are trying to hide themselves, to stay away from everything. Umbrellas are like cages and people with umbrellas look like those poor birds that have lost their freedom.

I've always hated umbrellas, but this year... The rains this year seemed lonely and sad. Each drop of rain running down my window made me think of you. All those memories would keep going through my mind. Being away from you was hard, but the rain made it even harder. And one day i realized that I went out of the house holding an umbrella in my hand. I was walking down the streets hiding from people, from the trees, from myself. I felt like i'm invisible, away from everyone and everything.

But was that what i really wanted? No, i wanted to be next to you, no matter the weather i knew that i love you. And i'm sure that it was your Love that made me smile again, that made me forget about the umbrella.... And i was running under the rain again, feeling happy and so close to you.

Maybe I don't hate umbrellas anymore, but i will never hold an umbrella , unless you're here with me...

© LiLit Ghazaryan